Or at least that’s how people perceive me.
I have 3 wonderful stepkids - all teenagers now. I’ve been lucky enough to be part of their lives for 9 years.
I consider myself less “step” and more just “mom” with the love, care, and the relationship we have.
But there’s a myth surrounding my role.
I’m either perceived as “wicked” or a “homewrecker”.
Neither of which is particularly nice or remotely true. I find myself challenging this stereotype all the time.
So why is it that when I meet people for the first time, it's presumed that I am the reason my husband’s first marriage failed?
Why are we stepmoms labeled homewreckers before anyone has even had a chance to find out our story?
I don’t think anyone will ever understand the complexities that come with the title “step”. Unless you’ve had that title yourself.
I’ve even found that friends and family judge! Not about my situation but within the parent/child relationship conversations.
I want to talk about birthday-themed parties. Graduation dress shopping or the Covid homeschooling drama.
I want to share my special moments and hardships of being a mum.
But it’s hard to be accepted.
I am the mom with the step before her name.
Joining a family that already has children is amazing. But it's also incredibly hard. And scary.
I love my stepkids like they’re my own.
I discipline them, I care for them, and I cook and clean for them. I help them with their homework, and job resumes and often turn OFF the WIFI.
I’m a mom to them in every way, except biologically.
They are not 100% mine. And they never will be. So I do my best.
I do my best to love them and support them. Without stepping on toes and crossing any lines.
So next time you meet a stepmom ….. think twice before you judge her.
She might just be a struggling superhero in disguise.
- Jess
